it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
She bit a glass in half.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
