I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
