ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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