i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
