Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Holy sore nipples Batman
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
