I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
