White coat. Heels.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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