Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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