Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
