just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
