I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
this must be what syphilis tastes like
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
