i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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