Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
