Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Randomize
