Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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