maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
