I'm lost and stupid without you.
so explain again why im purple
no
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
