Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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