Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
