What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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