i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
My breasts were aching with rage.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
