fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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