we're blogging at a bar
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
