no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
