I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
