what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
