how can u be prego again
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
