I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
