i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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