You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
