I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
