After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
