So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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