it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
