I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
