So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
