My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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