He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
