She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i love accidental penises.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
