I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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