I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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