Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
