The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
