I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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