This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
