So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
