I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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