I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
