Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
