Kiss
Puke
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
